jigsaw - March 23, 2021

jigsaw

By, Michael Earnshaw

March 23, 2021

@MikeREarnshaw

@PunkClassrooms

fitting everything together
tedious, probably
self-care, definitely
click here
snap there
some fit
those pieces that won’t sit just right
don’t throw away just yet
soon to find where they go
sunset
sunrise
new day
with the last piece, it’s not the end

The Evaluation Mindshift - March 2, 2021

The Evaluation Mindshift

By, Michael Earnshaw

March 2, 2021

@MikeREarnshaw

@PunkClassrooms

March is the month that wraps up “Evaluation Season.” Whether you are tenured or non, on cycle or not, sometime in early/mid March is when teachers’ evaluations needs to be complete and signed off on. There has always been, and unfortunately always will be, the mindset of many educators that evaluations are a “gotcha,” or a hoop that needs to be jumped through. This belief in evaluations will only be ceased if and when administrators begin to prove that they believe in the true meaning behind evaluations: GROWTH. 

We’ve all been in the teacher’s workroom either hearing our colleagues, or maybe even ourselves, breathing a sigh of relief that our evaluation for the year has been completed. This pure scene, that we are all guilty of, proves that it is the belief that evaluations are an act, a performance, that is scheduled once or twice a year, to show a school administrator that you are the most engaging, creative, fun, and top-notch teacher that has blessed our students. There’s nothing wrong with striving to prove those qualities, they are exactly what will help to improve our students’ lives for the long haul. But if those need to be displayed on a scheduled date or two with an administrator, that admin is not fully doing their job correctly. 

A shift in this negative evaluation mindset needs to start with modeling from those completing the evaluation. Principals, assistant principals, deans, and district office administrators are typically those that complete teacher evaluations. It’s precisely these individuals that hold the power to transforming the teacher evaluation landscape for educators everywhere! Here are a few approaches that need to be made to begin a new era. 

• Visit Classrooms Regularly. To truly know what is happening in our classrooms we need to visit them regularly and consistently. How can anyone justify that rating a teacher’s entire school year on one or two officially scheduled dates is fair? Evaluators need to know what happens day in and day out, the good, the bad, and the argyle. These are the days where the magic happens and those unexpected pockets of learning are bursting at the seams! If evaluators are not consistently in classrooms they will miss these moments. Another benefit of getting into classrooms regularly is that it helps to create a comfortable, trusting relationship. The more an evaluator is in a room the more fluid each visit becomes. The air doesn’t stiffen when an evaluator enters if it happens regularly. What happens is that the evaluator becomes another member of the class, an active participant! Try getting into every teacher’s room at least once a week for 10-20 minutes. 

• Positive Post-Its. Never ever just leave a classroom without providing some form of feedback. No matter how many times you’ve visited, no matter how comfortable the teacher has become with you being there, if you leave without providing any feedback it can begin to chip away at the trust you’ve established. These are informal classroom visits, so your feedback does not need to be entered in your online evaluation tool or sent in an email. That makes the purpose of these visits now seem very formalized. Instead, leave a small Post-It note behind. Jot down the amazing and impressive things you observed that teacher doing. This is to help build them up, acknowledge their strengths, and expand on them. Now if there was something extremely detrimental that needs to be addressed that can be done in the online evaluation system or an email. Let the Post-Its always state the positives. 

• The Collaboration Comfort Zone Crushing Crew. The entire point of evaluations is the help promote teacher growth. Evaluators must be a part of this process. Educators are all guilty of sometimes not seeing their true potential. They get comfortable where they’re at, approaching their lessons with what works for THEM. Evaluators must begin to push their teachers out of their comfort zones. Evaluators must model that risk-taking is accepted and encouraged. When evaluators engage in conversations with their teachers where they’re bragging on their strengths and positives, nudging them to leave their comfort zones with new lessons and activities, there is always one question the evaluator must ask, “How can I help?” After that question is asked and answered, it’s imperative that the evaluator follow-through on this. This team approach will build confidence and comfort in continually leaving comfort zones, and more importantly, a trusting and collaborative relationship. 

Imagine the difference our classrooms would look and feel like if both administrators and teachers took advantage of the powerful opportunity of growth with evaluations? This reality is within reach. It will not happen overnight, it will take some time and dedication on the administrator's end, but it will be worth it for everyone involved, especially our kids. 

double vision - February 3, 2021

double vision
By, Michael Earnshaw
February 3, 2021
@MikeREarnshaw
@PunkClassrooms 

destroyed my image
*
mirage
reflected illusions
*
you see
frustration
weakness
letdown
pain
*
i see
focus
strength
accomplishment
love
*
perception 
beholder’s view
*
you see
failure
letdown
waste
nothing
*
we see 
accomplishment
pride
treasure
everything
*
smash
spring away
*
birth your reflection

blink - February 2, 2021

blink

By, Michael Earnshaw

February 2, 2021

@MikeREarnshaw

@PunkClassrooms

sight discontinued at dusk

recharged

or

escaped

darkness cleansing

purify

or 

erase

dawn will erupt the silence

replaying 

Or 

rebirthing 

Silent Notification - February 10, 2021

 Silent Notification

By, Michael Earnshaw

February 8, 2021

@MikeREarnshaw

@PunkClassrooms

Last week a catastrophic event stormed my professional life. This event was so Earth shattering, rocking my world to its core, that it didn’t just creep in and affect my personal life also, but charged it like elite athletes sprinting the last feet before the finish line of the finals of the 100 Meter Yard Dash. I’m not quite sure when the events I’m about to discuss started sprouting, but I noticed it on a Thursday, scrambled to find a solution on Friday, and come Saturday I had embraced and accepted my fate and future. 

The day I realized that my life, both professionally and personally, would change forever was Thursday, February 4, 2021. It was Parent/Teacher Conferences. My work hours were flexed a little bit this day, so I took advantage of the open morning. Coffee, reading, and a workout were how I spent my hours alone while my wife was at work and our kids were enthralled in their own remote learning. I finished a killer weight session, ferociously shook up a banana protein shake, when it dawned on me that I had not gotten any work emails all morning. Now I know I said that my hours were flexed, and that’s true, but not everyone’s hours were. We still had one of our secretaries in the office since 8:00 AM, the typical opening hours. District Office secretaries and Admin were working their normal hours. Even some teachers were taking advantage of the open morning and getting extra conferences in, copies made, or team planning done. So, being an elementary principal, I should have had a handful, maybe two handfuls, of emails at this point of the day. 

To say I was frightened is an understatement. I was terrified. Palms and brow sweating, heavy breathing, and none of it was the result from the workout I just crushed. I had no clue what horrors I was about to unlock. I I had spent my morning practicing my own self-care, something we stress to our staff more than ever right now, and I felt so free. But now, when I realized that something had happened, that I hadn’t been reached out to once, everything I did for myself was wiped away. I knew I was about to open a portal that should have remained closed.

I put the protein shaker cup on the kitchen counter, took six deep breaths, closed my eyes for a brief prayer, and placed my thumb on the Microsoft Outlook Email icon on my cell phone's home screen. 

I couldn’t believe my eyes, my worst nightmare had grown to a reality. More than just a few handfuls of unopened, unread emails sat staring right back at me, in an almost sinister stance giggling, “Haha, you’re going to have some fun going through all of us!”

My Outlook email notifications somehow became disabled on my phone. There was no update, no change to my settings, the notifications just stopped popping through, the one job they had. I spent most of Thursday and Friday trying to figure out what had gone wrong and how to get the notifications back. I was unsuccessful at this and eventually gave up in defeat. 

I know many of my PLN have praised and touted the mental health benefits of not having work email notifications on their phone. There needs to be that separation. I could never do it. I always felt I needed to have that notification alert me when I was sent something. I didn’t always reply immediately, but if something came in that may need immediate attention I could address it. I felt that rather than try to fix a tech problem that was obviously out of my hands this would be a good enough time to leave my comfort zone and see how this horror story unfolds. 

After a weekend of not receiving any school email notifications, or even checking the emails on my own accord, I felt liberated, free! I had spent the entire weekend, every minute of it, taking care of myself and spending time with my family. Not one second pertained to work. I learned a lot throughout these past few days unshackled from email notifications. 

1.  Not everything is important or time-sensitive. I spent this morning, Monday, catching up on all of those emails that built up. Not one, none of them, required any attention that I was overdue on, or even near their deadline. Things can wait. 

2.  If something needs direct attention that individual will call or text. 

3.  The happiness, the freeness, that has come with filling my time away from school is exactly what I have been missing to truly “unplug.”

I’m excited for my nights and weekends, free from the ball and chain of Outlook. I can give my undivided attention to those closest in my life, my beautiful wife, energetic children, and myself. This will only make me better for our staff and students. If you are like me and have yet to learn to live without work email on your phone I highly suggest you try it out. I will never go back, and if this notification issue resolves on its own I will be sure to disable it. 

Sacrifice - February 2, 2021

 Sacrifices

By, Michael Earnshaw

February 1, 2021

@MikeREarnshaw

@PunkClassrooms

Goal setting is imperative if we want to continually improve and move forward. In order to keep our trajectory going, we must set goals, create an action plan, and work to accomplish what we set out to do. Improvement is an ever-moving target, we can’t simply nail our boots to one area and keep shooting our bow from the same spot. Once we hit the target in front of us, our first goal, a new one is set. Sometimes the next target is a lateral move to the left or right, sometimes a farther distance. Regardless, to keep improving ourselves we adjust, move, and plan to hit the next target. 

Most of us are great at setting goals, planning their attack, and working to accomplish them. Sometimes we impress ourselves and surpass even our own expectations, other times we fall short. Sometimes we hit our goal, but it’s a lackluster finale. I’m not here to give any sage advice on how to always crush your goals beyond your wildest dreams, nor am I here to explain how to not have the letdown finishes. What I am here to do is to share some of my experiences and self-reflection that has helped me to realize either why I did not have the euphoric high after my accomplishment. 

I have had the privilege to run five marathons. I never set out to run five, I thought I was done after my first 26.2 miles in 2013. I had basically set two goals for myself with this race. Honestly, every race I run, whether it’s 26.2 miles or 3.1, my first goal is to finish. No times, no splits, just finish the run. That goal was met with my first marathon in 2013 and every after that. My second goal was to run 26.2 miles in under 4 hours. I finished in 4:02. 

This ate at me. I knew I could finish in under 4:00! So, what did I do? I signed up to run the Chicago Marathon 2014. Just like my training plan from the 2013 marathon, I stuck to a strict(ish) diet, brews by the pool were only indulged in after the week’s long run was complete. Workouts weren’t skipped and were performed with intent. The end result of the 2014 Chicago Marathon...a 3:55 finish! 

The next three marathons I ran all had the same two goals: 1. To finish the race. 2. To finish in under 3:55. In these next three marathons, I reached Goal One but was 0/3 for Goal Two. This caused me frustration, confusion, and anger. I knew I was better than my performances. I was a marathon runner, I’ve done it almost a handful of times before completing my fifth in 2019. So why were my times continually climbing a ladder when in my mind they should have been sliding down like Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas? 

After months of self-reflection, not just on my marathon times and goals with racing, but with ALL of my goals both personally and professionally, I wasn’t invested in them. I didn’t really want to accomplish them. I was setting them because it was what I thought I was supposed to do. I was setting goals on other’s stereotypes and perceptions, not my own.I may not have been invested in my goals, but that didn’t mean I didn’t work hard to reach them. I trained, got in long runs, but there was something missing, something I acknowledged during both the 2013 and 2014 marathons but none of the others. SACRIFICE. 

In the last three marathons I was not willing to sacrifice a social life, comfort foods, pool volleyball, and brews in the sun. This of course had a direct effect on the training runs and workouts I was completing. Instead of training to improve myself I was forcing myself to go through the motions. Since I got out for a few runs this week and I’ve run a marathon or two before I’d be fine. I convinced myself I’d be good and reach my Goal 2. Ok, you got me, I wasn’t convinced, it was just wishful thinking. 

Many times what prevents us from reaching a goal the way we envision is not that we don’t have the work ethic, plan, or support system behind us, it’s that we aren’t willing to sacrifice other aspects of our life. Whenever we set a goal we must not only lay out our plan of attack but also list what sacrifices are we giving up. If we are not willing to live our lives without some aspects that have been with us, is the goal something we should be setting out to journey for?  

helium - January 25, 2021

 helium
By, Michael Earnshaw
January 25, 2021
@MikeREarnshaw
@PunkClassrooms

leaving the party
 string encaged within a grip
such strength for such a delicate hand
nothing will tear it apart 
unthinking, unconsciously, the hand relaxed
or was it
as the sphere takes flight
a lapse in judgment
soaring away
slowly
higher
just out of reach
loss or escapism
regardless the time has expired
are you leaving or not being brought back
farther
take a step 
away
new beginnings

 Reading & Leading

By, Michael Earnshaw

January 20, 2021

@MikeREarnshaw

@PunkClassrooms

“No, it’s only 9:24! We don’t go to bed until 9:30!” was billowing from down the hallway, escaping my son’s room, reverberating off of our hallway walls. As soon as he was done his sister, the sidekick, backed him up. 

“Yeah, we don’t put them away yet, it’s not time.” 

Now it was time for the judge to lay out the final sentence, the one everyone in the courtroom knew was coming. 

“No, I want you asleep at 9:30. The books go away now!” my wife, mom, declared.

You read that convo correctly. We were having a discussion in the Earnshaw household about having my kids put away their books and go to bed. Now if you were to ask me what we were prying out of our kids’ hands before bed two weeks ago it would have been a different blog. Their nights concluded with them setting up shop in my daughter’s room and watching The Simpsons on Hulu. Yes, there were the arguments that they pleaded to let them watch just a few more minutes longer. But these last few weeks my kids have chosen to go back to a habit they had for such a long time, every night before the pandemic hit, reading. 

My routine was thrown off greatly when the pandemic hit. It’s like those cartoons where a character can move the train tracks and the cart containing their nemesis soars right off the edge of a cliff. One of my healthy habits that plummeted to the bottom of that canyon was reading. I read every night before March 16, 2020, and many times throughout the day, especially on the weekends. 

With 2021, I haven’t set resolutions. I haven’t committed to resolutions that I fail at for the past three years. I have adopted the #OneWord phenomenon and have never wanted to glance back! The #OneWord helps to keep me focused and grounded and something to return to once I get off track. For 2021 I have chosen the word PRISM. With living a year with #OneWord I also can set goals to help me improve. One of my goals for 2021 is to read more. I set the goal of reading 12 books for the year, that’s one a month. Starting slow, it’s been a while. You never start a marathon at a full spring. I’m ecstatic to say that today, January 20, I’m about to finish my third book for the year after I’m done writing this blog!

It’s said that we must model what we want to see in others. This holds true if we’re parents, school administrators, teachers, or anyone that wants to make our world a better place. 

Out of nowhere, my son approaches me in the kitchen. I think he’s going to ask for the Game Room remote to play Xbox. Instead, he makes a declarative sentence that is actually interrogative. 

“Mom says you read before bed every night.” 

Again, the sidekick is hidden in the shadows. “He does, I can see his light in my room late at night and hear the pages turn.” 

“Yeah, I do. Reading is good for you, it makes you smarter and it helps me to wind down and sleep good,” was how I replied. 

This unexpected conversation happened about two weeks ago. It was that night, and every night since then, that my kids have been choosing to read before bed. 

My wife and I have had numerous conversations the past few months about how our kids have not been reading and collaboratively problem solved  how we can get them to get back into it. We pleaded, stressed the importance, even bribed at some point, but it didn’t go anywhere. What our kids needed was a model. 

I never set out to model the importance of reading to my kids, I just wanted to better myself. Even when we choose for our personal interests, whether that’s positive activities or negative, others are watching, even if you don’t realize it. 

What do you want to see in others? Start making sure you are doing the same. 

Chewing on Rocks - January 18, 2021

 Chewing on Rocks

By, Michael Earnshaw

January 18, 2021

@MikeREarnshaw

@PunkClassrooms

“Today, I had a kid eat a rock during snack.” 

“What, no way? What did you say?”

“You’re kidding, a 5th grader legit ate a rock?”

“Yeah, I told them that they will be seeing that rock again.” 

And the attendees in the virtual meeting all shared a laugh. Even those that still had themselves “Muted” were seen in their Brady Bunch-esque square shedding a tear from the hysterics. 

At our school, our students are still learning remotely and since Thanksgiving 2020 our staff has been working from home. This has both its ups and downs. This blog isn’t about delving into the never ending debate of remote vs. in-person. This blog is to remind us to laugh. 

For the first quarter and some weeks of our 2020/2021 school year our classrooms were occupied by the teacher and paraprofessionals whose names were on the placard outside the door. Teaching happened in the front of each classroom, each staff member creating their own NASA-like station to engage our students who seemed galaxies away. Things were going great, everyone was in a good groove. We were able to stop by one another’s room, socially distanced and masked up, to have those crucial, 120-second conversations that are game-changers for educators. You know what I’m talking about, that hallway banter that happens when switching classes or walking your homeroom to their Special’s Class. We were even able to start holding Tuesday Town Hall meetings. These were 30-minute informal staff meetings where our Assistant Principal and I were able to give updates and info on anything new and also for staff to ask questions or share tips and strategies that would benefit others. These were not mandatory, but we did have about 90% of our staff show up. With all of the distance we had to put between ourselves with the pandemic these weekly gatherings helped to make us feel like a staff again, united, and committed to bettering our students. 

Positive Covid-19 numbers were rampantly rising in our area. With the positivity rate on the rise in Chicagoland, our Superintendent and School Board made the decision to allow staff to work from home following Thanksgiving for one week. This was to help prevent the spreading of Covid-19 amongst our staff. There was no way to police any staff from traveling or getting together with others despite what the top doctors were recommending. One week of work from home passed and numbers did not get any better. Another week of WFH was granted, and then again until winter break, and here we are now, January 18, 2021, and we’re still working from our living rooms, kitchen tables, and home offices. 

During these remote weeks we still instituted our Town Halls, but it wasn’t the same. Nearly all of our staff showed up to these, but something was missing. Everyone logged into our Zoom at the scheduled time and our Assistant Principal and I basically read off bullet points, something we vowed to never do in a live staff meeting so why would it be acceptable now? Once we were done we asked if anyone had questions or anything else, but no one ever did. 

I’ve struggled to feel connected with our staff during this time, you can read about it here, and I began holding our Town Halls three times a week. Now you may be thinking, “Mike, if you didn’t have much info to share weekly how could you possibly fill three days?” Well, these meetings aren’t so much to deliver info but to spend time with each other. I began rephrasing how I asked if anyone had anything else. Instead of, “Does anyone have anything?” I began asking, “What’s something positive you’d like to share?” or “What’s a highlight of your day?”

The reasoning behind the change in questions was to open conversations, to get some dialogue going. I have always believed that relationships are first, not only with teachers and students but everyone, including administrator and staff as well as staff and staff. With the very bland style of meetings we were having it went against everything I believe a staff meeting should be. Being virtual we are very limited, but we can still smile and laugh. 

No matter what our situation, we can always smile and laugh. 

Being an educator is a whirlwind of emotions on a daily basis, and the climate today with the Covid-19 pandemic does not make anything easier. Educators are working harder than ever, longer days that are taking time away from their own families. If I can’t get our staff up, moving, and partaking in team building activities like we do during in-person staff meetings (more about these in my upcoming book, shameless plug) we needed to share those smiles we were lacking. Creating laughter by sharing those funny stories we always say, “We should write a book about a day in the life of a teacher, no one would ever believe what we experience!” is just what we needed. 

And that was our entire Town Hall. We talked about that 5th grader eating a rock for a snack, and then the weirdest things we have all eaten! Did this conversation have anything to do with education? No, it didn’t...but then again, it did. Education is all about relationships. 

Grab My Hand in the Dark - January 13, 2021

 Grab My Hand in the Dark
By, Michael Earnshaw
January 13, 2021
@MikeREarnshaw
@PunkClassrooms

I’ve been very open and honest with my crew, my PLN when explaining the roller coaster of a ride of emotions that I went through for the majority of 2020. Look, I know, I’m not that special and ALL of us have been on this ride. The point is not to steal any sympathy from you. Since adopting my #OneWord2021 PRISM I have been looking at everything in my life from a different lens. My purpose in this blog is to hopefully help someone who may still be stuck on the same ride I was on find their way off. 

Growing up in the punk rock and hardcore scene I’ve learned to know the importance of having a crew, and now in my educational career, a PLN. Josh and I discuss this tenet of UNITY on multiple episodes of Punk Rock Classrooms. We are truly stronger together. Together we can help one another reach our own goals, get through roadblocks and struggles, and have a shoulder to cry on or ear to lend when someone needs it most. Life can downright suck at times, it’s not always rainbows and unicorns no matter how much any of us wish, or pretend, it is. It’s during those times that the unicorns ate some burritos with expired sour cream or contaminated beans, flying high above us just letting it all go, that we need to turn to our crew. 

Now I grew up in punk and hardcore, but I also have a little, ok, a BIG emo side to me. I can’t recount how many nights were spent screaming along, alone, to Dashboard Confessional, The Starting Line, or Jimmy Eat World. Maybe a tear or two escaped my eye sockets, but I was alone so there’s no proof, your word against mine. 

Now because I have that inner-emo kid still inside, he came out in 2020. What do I mean? I locked myself away from my crew. Part of it was out of my control, we were forced to work remotely, again, as most of the educators in the world did. I could have reached out to our staff, made phone calls, texts, Zooms, but I didn’t. I didn’t make those connections because I didn’t know what to say. Here I was, the educational leader of our amazing school, and I didn’t know how to talk or listen to what our staff was going through because I didn’t know how to process what I was going through. 

I still had my crew from across the world though right? All of those amazing, world-changing, eduheroes that inspire me on an hourly basis? I did, but I didn’t because of me. That emo kid was winning, telling me to just huddle up in the corner, pull my hair over my eye, throw on the headphones, and sulk. And that’s what I did. 

This is no way to live. For me, for you, for anyone. We all make connections and form relationships for these very situations. It wasn’t until the Fall of 2020 that I started to reconnect. I was so fortunate to find and connect every Tuesday morning with the TeachBetter Admin Mastermind group. Like many of them say, our week doesn’t begin until Tuesday morning. I learn so much from them, more than they know, and I only hope that I can benefit them as much as they do me. 

I’ve been able to get more active on Twitter and the various Voxer groups. Just hearing others, knowing we’re all going through the same struggles and frustrations, and being able to help others where I may have some insight has definitely helped to get that shaggy hair out of my eyes and sticking back up in the mohawk it should be. 

This blog isn’t to just share my story of how I refound the power of a crew, a PLN. This blog is hopefully going to help someone who is stuck like I was. Know that no matter how dark the days get, those connections you’ve made, the crew that was always by your side is still there. Reach out your hand, I promise someone will grab yours and pull you up. I’m glad to be out of the dark. If you’re still in it I’ll pull you up. 

PRISM - #OneWord2021 - January 6, 2021

 PRISM 
#OneWord2021
By, Michael Earnshaw
January 6, 2021
@MikeREarnshaw

PRISM - noun - a glass or other transparent object in prism form, especially one that is triangular with refracting surfaces at an acute angle with each other and that separates white light into a spectrum of colors.

2021 will be my third year adopting the #OneWord approach to improving myself throughout the 365 days rather than setting unrealistic resolutions. For my #OneWord 2019, I went with BELIEVE and left my comfort zones, both personally and professionally, more so than I ever even dreamed! If it wasn’t for BELIEVING, I would never have begun writing and sharing it with the world, speaking at educational conferences, or talking about two of my loves, Punk Rock and Education with my brother Josh Buckley on our podcast Punk Rock Classrooms. By living 2019 through the word BELIEVE I was able to move myself to be the husband, father, educator, leader, and the person I knew I was destined to be but had always lacked the confidence to get there. 

Building off the momentum from 2019, 2020 started off amazing! I was flowing through the first few months, just like the word I had chosen to live by, WATER. I was able to break down even more barriers that stood in my way to make me better and stronger to help inspire others to work together to change our world for the better. By adopting WATER as my #OneWord2020 I was able to accomplish a goal that I have had since elementary school, to have a book of my own published. In January of 2020, I am proud to say that I was able to sign a contract with Edumatch and will be able to share the EduCulture Cookbook: Recipes and Dishes to Positively Transform School and Classroom Culture in the Spring/Summer of 2021! 

Everything was on track for 2020 to be one of my best years yet! WATER was freely flowing and I was living my best life until a dam was built out of nowhere. The WATER was stopped and everything in my life began to overflow and flood out in every aspect. At first, I felt that the Covid-19 Pandemic was to blame for building a dam that was stopping my positive flow, but after months of living through a non-stop flood, I realized that it was me that had built the dam. 

I was seeing the world through one lens. Everything that was happening, school shutdowns, quarantines, no toilet paper on the shelves, I only saw the negative in every situation. This had a horrible effect on me to be the leader my staff and students deserve, the husband my wife chose to spend the rest of her life with, and most importantly, the strong father my kids needed. My self-care slowly declined. Runs and weight lifting sessions were sporadic, I’d be lucky to get in two a week. Diet, I guess if you mean eating everything and anything I wanted. I wasn’t reading, wasn’t connecting with my crew, my PLN, and spending way too much time just zoning out in front of the TV every night with nothing good fueling my body. 

Whenever something went wrong at home or school it wasn’t my fault, it had to be someone else’s. All of the goals I had set for the year were put on hold because the Pandemic wasn’t allowing me to reach them. I became depressed and self-destructive but of course, it wasn’t my fault, there just wasn’t any other way, it’s because of the Pandemic, right? 

I only saw the world, my world, through my eyes. 

I chose the word PRISM for my #OneWord2021 because I now understand that everything I mentioned above was because of me. I chose to use the Pandemic as an excuse. I wasn’t taking responsibility for my actions and took the easy way out. It took many months living through this to understand I was the cause of my own struggles, but I am grateful to have found see the light from a different lens. 

I chose the word PRISM because of the simple, yet awe-inspiring job they do. PRISMS bring in one bland ray of light, one view, one perspective, but project a plethora of beauty, colors, and a rainbow of amazement out of the other side. PRISMS help us to see more than what is there, other perspectives, alternate avenues. PRISMS help us to see that there’s more than meets the eye, that there is light in the darkness, beauty in catastrophe. 

PRISMS help us to see that there is so much to be grateful for even amidst our world being flipped upside down. 

I will live 2021 looking for the light when everything around me is dark and bland. I will continue to BELIEVE and flow like WATER, and that will lead me to the rainbows that surround us all of the time. I will stop only seeing my ray of light, I will listen more than I speak. I will show gratitude daily because there is so much beauty that has come out of this pandemic and to truly move forward we mustn’t revert to how things were.

I will see the beauty in every situation. 

I will see the beauty in others. 

I will see the beauty in myself.